In Between
by Peyton23
Summary: What happens when the person you love the most is teetering between life & death?Do you give up like the others or keep hope?Is true love really that strong? Story is better than summary.B/E, R&R


**A/N: I know I haven't written in a while, but I'm currently working on a new story that will be pre-written and complete. This was just a little romance/angst one-shot that was on my mind. **

**Disclaimer: I dodn't own Twilight or the characters. The plot is mine. **

**In Between**

Love is a crazy thing. It makes you a completely different person. It started on the first day of school. The school was buzzing with rumours and speculations. A low rumble in the distance became closer and closer until the boy on the motorcycle was parking. The girls giggled and fixed their hair. Me? I was the bookworm burying her face in a book, trying to hide as she looked over at the new boy. Two more cars entered the parking lot with the rest of his family, but I couldn't care less. I was more concerned on _him_. His leather jacket was shiny underneath the little sunshine we had. Despite this, you could tell it was worn in. He took the helmet off his head and the buzzing grew louder as my face burned from the blush I was having. He had such unique hair. I could call it a dozen names; copper, red, and auburn. It wasn't a usual hairstyle either and he didn't try to flip his hair to the side. It was sticking in random directions like a bed head he couldn't get rid of. But it worked for him. He was tall but he wasn't a giant. He was lean yet muscular and so pale he could blend into the white walls at home. But the most striking thing about his appearance was his eyes. They were a shade of green I had never heard of nor seen. He looked around and took in his surroundings. They met mine more than once. His face turned cold as he scowled and walked into school, his shoulders sagging with every step.

We were biology partners. We ignored each other, not knowing what to say. But one day it all changed. I forgot my pencil. A simple mistake led him to giving me one and starting a conversation. It progressed from there and before I knew it I was sitting at his lunch table laughing with his family as his brother, Emmett, told a joke. But the lines between friendship and love began to grow blurry with every day I spent with him. My heart pounded and I got butterflies in my stomach before he entered a room. I fidgeted without him and relaxed when he was near. And by some miracle, he could feel it too.

My engagement ring glittered as I played with it. It still felt odd being on my finger, but in a good way. I was started to worry now, he's been late for a while. He's never left me waiting before. The phone rang and I ran to pick it up while tripping over my own legs. I cursed my clumsiness as I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi. May I please speak to Isabella Swan?" My heart began to pound nervously in my chest.

"This is she." The woman on the other line exhaled and paused before she continued speaking.

"Yes. Well…I work at Forks Hospital and there is a man here by the name of Edward Cullen who has your name put down for his emergency contacts list." My breathing quickened.

"Is he alright?"

"No ma'am. You should come here straight away. The doctor should give you more insight on his condition when you do." She was about to hang up.

"Wait! Just please, tell me, is he alive?"

"Yes ma'am." I ended the call and looked at my ring once more before gathering my wallet and keys and made a mad dash for my car. The road was blurry as I drove to see him. The tears that filled my eyes slipped over and down my face. I refused to let any more out. I was being unreasonable, he would be alright.

I was met with the doctor along with the family to hear Edward's condition. The room became dizzy and white spots came into my vision as they told me. Brain damage, a coma, accident, alive, brain dead, life support, sorry, little chance. The doctor stopped talking now and I felt eyes on me. The white spots began to grow bigger now.

"Bella, _breathe_." Someone said. I did as I was told and took a big gulp of air before letting it out again. The white spots left my vision but a burning sensation in my throat and heart took its place.

I filled my days with him. I never let myself leave his side; I needed to be the first one he saw when he woke up. I was at home now, being forced away by Esme and Carlisle to go home and sleep. It had been two weeks now and maybe I was still in denial.

But I didn't care. He needed to be okay. I don't know how to function without him. It was always yes or no, black and white, in or out with us. There were never any 'in between's. But there he was now. Edward was teetering on edge fading between life and death. The thumping and butterflies I felt around him now decreased to a low flutter in my heart and I knew he was slipping away but I couldn't believe it. I was angry at the world and at fate, who decided to through this curveball into our perfect life. I threw a plate at the wall and it shattered into a million pieces before landing on the floor. This calmed me down a bit; knowing that my heart wasn't the only fragile thing in this world. But a plate was easier to fix than my heart. To grab some glue or even tape would fix it. But Edward was my glue and tape; he was the thing that could fix me and he was the only thing that held me together. With him gone, my heart would lie down on the floor like the plate, shattered into a million pieces and too damaged to repair. It was like torture seeing him everyday. I would get to hold his hand and feel the thumping of his heart and the blood flowing through his body. But the doctors would remind me everyday. 'Remember your husband is gone. He might be alive physically, but mentally he is finished.' He could be sleeping when I see him. I half expect his to open his eyes and start laughing; telling me this is one big practical joke. But no matter how many times the doctors remind me I will not lose hope. I have faith he will come back to me. He's never left me waiting.

Everyday I walk in there and see him. I'll tell him how my day went and remind him of our past. Our first date, the first time I saw him, our anniversary, when we found out we had been accepted to the same university, our engagement. All the little things that made our relationship the way it is. Most of it made me laugh and cry and I hoped if Edward was awake that he would be doing the same thing.

It's been months and I don't know what to do. They tell me it's time; the doctors, his family and my family. They tell he's gone and I should move on. But I can't. I still feel the fluttering of my heart when I walk in the room. And this gives me hope. I've told them this, but they still don't believe me.

"Maybe it's because he's physically alive." Alice suggested. But I know it's not. I would know if he's truly gone but everyday is a struggle. Being there with him makes it harder because there is a chance I'll never see him open his eyes again. And I know it's just not me this is affecting. It's our whole family and I'm just making this worse for everyone involved by dragging it out. What would Edward want? I'm finding myself constantly asking myself this. Would he be angry at me for not letting him succumb into death's awaiting hands? Would he be angry at me for dragging it out? But every time I approach that button which will end his life I'm filled with dread and anguish. The 'ifs' and all the possibilities run through my mind, leaving me a sobbing mess and wishing I could be stronger. But there they are, little flashes of our would have been future. A small wedding at his family's home, a honeymoon off the coast of Brazil, a mansion with a white picket fence and a dog. But what pains me the most is the flash of a little girl with brown curls and copper undertones falling from the top of her head with pale, almost florescent skin and striking green eyes. With her mother's intelligence and her father's courage and beauty, she would be able to do anything. But all of that was taken away the moment that drunk driver hit him. I've always loved that motorcycle but I wonder if he had been in a car, would the outcomes be different.

It has almost been a year now and I look worse. I look like a walking zombie with dark purple bags under my eyes and I lost half the weight of what I was before. But Edward lies on the bed, unchanged and this makes me yearn for him even more. I wish he would take care of me when I'm sick, send me little love notes throughout the day and send me flowers just because they make me smile. I wished he could wake up so I could give him all I had and more; and so I could love him with all I have and not take one moment for granted. But it doesn't happen that way. Real life sucks.

The hospital room looks hideous. He would've hated being in here if he was awake. Despite his dad being a surgeon, he's always hated hospitals. My leg bounced nervously as I sat beside him. The silence was deafening. Everyone was waiting for me outside so I could say goodbye and we could get this done and over with. I couldn't do it. I kissed his hand and opened to door, letting everyone know how weak I truly am.

They're telling me I need counselling. I feel like I'm just a woman who misses the love of her life. I'm tired of having one way conversations and I'm sick of forgetting what his voice sounds like. But no matter what the burden is, I can't imagine pulling out that plug. Although I hate most things about my visits with him, I depend on them. I depend on seeing him everyday and touching him, knowing the other half of my soul is still here. I won't be the one to end his life and I've told everyone that; the counsellor and our family alike.

"But it wasn't you. Technically it was the drunk driver." The counsellor tells me. She a dim-witted, unintelligible, annoying woman who thinks she's better than everyone else. I don't need someone like her trying to help me 'cope'. I don't need to explain my feelings or my thoughts. She doesn't care anyway. She sits there, snapping her gum and asking me the same questions even though she knows I won't answer. She checks her cell phone every two seconds and reminds me to call her Jessica. That ended the day I broke her nose for saying I should give up and that there were plenty other 'fish in the sea'.

Everywhere I look I see his face and this saddens me further. My family is even starting to give up on both me and Edward. Their visits are less frequent and they've begun to push me towards trying counselling again. Their attempts are feeble. But one day they snapped. They met me at the hospital and led me down to Carlisle's office who took it upon himself to remind me there was little to know chance he would wake up. They told me to sit down and I did, not before noticing Emmett subtle lock the door.

"What is this? An intervention?" I snorted. Did I mention I had gotten turned into a bitter old harpy?

"Yes." Rosalie said. Her voice was filled with pity. I didn't want it nor did I need it.

"Just tell me what's going on so I can leave and see him." I sighed

"But Bella, that's what we're trying to tell you. You can't think about anything else. Your life revolves around him; you're not _living. _It's like you died with him."

"Firstly, how would you feel if it was Emmett? How would all of you feel if the person you loved was in Edward's position? Second, he is my life. So…I guess there was a part of me that went with him. But he isn't dead. So stop talking about him like he is." My voice wavered. Carlisle bit back a retort, he's been telling me different for months.

"Fine. Then Bella, please think about how this is affecting us. We've watched him for the past year and nothing has changed. I get the connection you two have, but sometimes you just have to let go. We all do. You know how much this hurts? To see my brother lying there, breathing and surviving but not _living_. And then I see you who's slowly fading away. I can't stand it anymore Bella. I really can't. But I also can't think about Edward lying on a hospital bed until he grows old, with no chance of waking up. Please, think about it. Don't you think it's time?" Alice asked. I could see Esme nodding along with what she was saying as well as the others.

"I'll think about it." I whispered. My voice cracked and I pushed past Emmett, unlocked the door and fled before they could see the onslaught of sobs racking through my body. I went straight to Edward's room and sat by his side. He didn't wake up to see me.

I thought about Alice's words that weekend and realizing that I couldn't see past my grief to see theirs. I knew I had to put an end to this. As much as it hurt me, I had to do this for them and for him. So, I got dressed and went to the hospital early that morning to spend a few more hours with him before he would leave this world for good. I spend that time telling him things I never got to, telling him things about me that he was supposed to learn and telling him about the bright future I had once envisioned for us. It wasn't fair that all of that was stripped away from us. No measure of time with him would ever be enough, but to have that time cut short was the worse thing I could ever think of.

"I remember the day you proposed to me. It was a sunny day out for Forks and we went to the library. We had been so stressed with school work and paying the bills and just being under all the stress of an adult that we hadn't spend as much time together all week. We were sitting there getting ready to study when I reached into my bag and I couldn't find a pencil. I found this completely weird since I remember putting a whole pack in there that morning. I ignored that, thinking that I was imagining things. So I asked you for one and you went digging in your bag for one. I knew you probably wouldn't find one since you always wrote with pen. But you did. And I said thanks and began to write when a beam of sunlight from the window hit something. The top of my pencil erupted with sparkles and started to glitter. It was amazing. I looked at you and you smirked pulling something off my pencil. Then you got down on one knee and asked me to marry you. I said yes and I knew I had fallen deeper within that little trap called love. I knew I had fallen to deep to get out and I knew that I didn't ever want to come out. And you said that forgetting my pencil was one of the greatest things I've ever done and you hoped little mistakes would happen again, turning into something great." I looked down at him with watery eyes.

"But, that one day wasn't a great mistake. When you got hit, you were taken from me. All that we had, it got stolen from under out feet. It isn't fair. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to let you go and I'm sorry for dragging this out longer than it ever needed to. But I just want you to know that I'll always need you and love you. And I'm so so sorry we couldn't have more time together". The fluttering in my heart turned into thumping, but ignored it as the end came closer. I let the others in and cried even harder when he gave me the plug.

"On three. One, two, three." Everyone turned and looked at me.

"I'm so-sorr-sorry." I cried. "Le-Let's try ag-again." I felt as though my heart was being ripped into even smaller pieces as I stared at the plug.

Everything seemed to slow down. The doctor started counting down from ten, but it felt too wrong. Like we were anticipating something rather than dreading it. At five I slowly added pressure onto the plug. On two I almost pushed it, but a sliver of green stopped me. The butterflies in my stomach were the strongest they had been in a long time. My heart pounded and I thought I was going to have a seizure. But all around me gasps emitted from my family's mouths along with the doctor's. His eyes were fully open now, a small smile upon his face. His eyes looked up and reached mine. I dropped the plug and ran to him. He grasped my hand in his and his small smile turned into a full fledged grin. Despite the tears that blurred my vision I knew I would remember this for a long, long time. Some how I knew we would be okay. We had beaten the odds. This proved that sometimes loved can follow you in life, in death and in between.


End file.
